


Stay

by Mionicov



Series: One shot collections RPDR [6]
Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Depressing, Depression, Gen, Sad Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-05
Updated: 2019-04-05
Packaged: 2020-01-05 05:21:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18359432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mionicov/pseuds/Mionicov
Summary: What do you do when the one you love is already far gone?





	Stay

**Violet gasped**

She had entered the room she shared with Pearl as she saw her standing in front of the open window with her arms strethed out.

Violet ran up to her, pulled her inside, right on time, and locked the widow behind them.

"Why? What can i do to help you Matthew!?"

Violet hugged Pearl tightly and sobbed into her neck. 

This wasn't Pearls first attempt. There had been several occations where Vi had rushed Pearl to the hospital for emergency.

She thought she was doing better.

"There's nothing you can do Jason."

Pearl spoke in a low monotone that sent shivers down Violets back.

 "Please, i just want to help. Why won't you let me?"

She hugged her tighter and brushed the back of Matts head with her fingers softly.

Pearl stared blankly ahead. He didn't feel anything anymore. His life was a mess and he didn't want it to affect Violets success.

* * *

 

Pearl sighed and stood up. 

"I'm just gonna go get something to drink in the bar."

Violet shoot up. He stared at Pearl in disbelief.

"I think you've had enough. Matt you're drunk."

She tried to physically block him from the door and pearl kept vobbleing back and forth trying to pass him.

"Damn it Vi! Just leave me alone!" Matt shouted at her and fell against the wall for support.

"No! I'm not leaving you! I'm not like them! I won't leave you-" Violets voice softened as he felt tears water up his eyes.

"I love you and i want to help you!"

"Stop saying that!" Pearl grabbed his head and shut his eyes. His knees visibly week.

"Matt.."

Violet helped the now floored Pearl and helped him up into his bed.

He helped the man out of his shirt and trousers.

"I won't leave you like this. Cmon. Let's go to bed.."

Matt sniffled and nodded. Violet made him feel loved but was it enough? 

He was afraid that the other was gonna get tired of dealing with his attitude and leave him like everyone else had. 

He was afraid that if he got too attatched he would regret it.

"Okay." He whimpered out.

* * *

Violet tucked Pearl into the covers and cuddled up to him as close as he could manage.

"I love you Matthew. I don't know what I would do without you." 

He pressed a soft kiss onto Pearls lips and fell asleep next to him.

* * *

Pearl woke up. The alarmclock showed 3:08 am. He got up and got himself dressed. He left a note on the small dining table in the kitchen and went to have a last look at Violet that was in deep sleep in the bed.

"Mmh don't go.." Violet muttered in her sleep and it took every bit of Pearl not to go and embrace the sleeping beauty again. 

"I'm sorry Vi" He whispered and left through the front door and into the night.

* * *

Violet woke up to the bright light of the sun shining in through the window. 

He rubbed his eyes and leaned to wake pearl up.

His hand reached out only to find a cold other side of the bed. He yanked up out of bed to search the room for the missing Pearl.

"Matt?"

No answer.

"Matthew!?" He threw himself out of the bed and ran through the hotel room, opening every door and closet. 

He found no trace of the other man until he reached the kitchen. In there on the dining table there was a small note.

 _I'm sorry, Vi. I know i am stupid and you would be so fucking pissed if I did something stupid. I know that i'm so fucking stupid. But i can't do this anymore, and i don't wanna bother you anymore. You have been everything i could ever ask for. Absolutely fucking amazing. I love you so much. Don't look for me.     -Pearl_.

Violet didn't even bother taking on shoes or a jacket, he ran out of the room. Asking anyone if they had seen someone looking like Pearl.

No help. Ha ran out into the snow looking for Matt. He ran to the closest stores, the liberary, the train station and the parks. 

He was nowhere to be found. 

After hours of searching he picked his phone up and called Pearl. No answer. He dialed 9-1-1 and filed a missing persons report. 

After yet another two hours of looking he was all out of tears to cry. He couldn't do anything. He was helpless, useless and he felt small. He made his way back to the hotel.

Once he was back in his room he flopped into the bed. He felt Pearls sweet applescent and he felt new tears bubbeling up.

Shortly after that he fell asleep.

 

* * *

One week later Violet was sitting in his apartment staring blankly at the TV. He didn't even know what was on right now. Not that he cared.

A sudden phonecall snapped him out of it and he immediately picked the phone up and answered. 

"Hello? This is the sheriffedepartment from Dallas Texas calling. We have news surrounding the disappearance of a Mr. Matthew James."

"Yes?" Violet expectantly sat up straight and felt his heart beat faster then ever. 

"Uhm... We uh.. We found him."

Violet felt himself beaming with joy and worry at the same time.

"Oh my god! How is he, is he alright?"

"Mr. Dardo, please listen carefully. We found his remains on the highway going north of texas, about two hours away from the location you gave us."

His heart sank.

"Remains?"

"According to witnesses he walked out in the middle of the road in front of incoming traffic."

Jason had to put a hand over his mouth to cover a whine that was forcing it's way up his throat. 

His heart stopped, atleast that's what it felt like. He dropped the phone somewhere on the floor. His vision was blurry from all the tears that blocked his eyes.

He couldn't keep the noices inside anymore and he cried. He cried rivers.

"Mr. Dardo, do you have any idea if mr. James had any intentions of suicide or self harm? Hello? Mr. Dardo?"

Jason blamed himself. Why did he fall asleep? Why couldn't he help Matt? Why was he to blind to see what was in the way of Pearls happiness?

He sat there alone. He would give anything to have Matt back. Anything for a second chance. 

Anything to be with him again.

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! If you are in a struggle with depression or have any form of suicide thoughts, remember that there are others out there that will give everything to help you. Don't hesitate to call for help ❤  
> 1-800-273-8255


End file.
